Juicy Peach
Chester has been up and down since the middle of last night. During the night, it was an issue of increasing pain in his limbs and his increasing difficulty in urinating. It took a long time to get on top of the pain. He was really needy of touch and would awake as soon as I removed my hand from his body to try to get some rest myself. Spasms and pain on his left side were scary and frustrating for him. He asked why, why and I answered that it was probably a result of tumor growth. That actually calmed him. He went into a meditative pose, going through mudras with his left hand.
Although much calmer, he was still in pain and he even requested a double dose of pain meds. Working with the hospice nurse, I was able to get his prescription changed to a long acting morphine to help him stay on top of the pain. That, along with a internal catheter, has really helped his pain.
He continues to go up and down, wanting to lay down and then sit on the side of his bed. When he wants to sit up, he wants someone to sit next to him and hold him. If he is lying down, he wants his hand held, his head rubbed or right now I am able to type this because I have my legs propped up on his bed along side of his body. It doesn't appear to be out of fear. I have this image of Chester eating a succulent, juicy, ripe peach and wanting to suck on the peach pit to extract every last bit of juicy flavor before he is ready to let go of that pit and allow it to be a seed for more juicy sweet peaches. It seems more like he just wants to make sure he doesn't miss a minute or a drop of the juicy life that he has led. He wants touch and he wants laugher and sleep just seems to get in the way! We are setting up an air mattress on the floor next to his bed tonight and hoping that will be close enough to allow both of us to get a bit of sleep.
He is definitely seeing things that the rest of us do not. It could be a side effect of the drugs, but I have noticed him looking like he was seeing things that I could not before we upped his meds. Tonight, it really seems that as the veil between life and death has started to part for Chester that he is seeing things that others of us can not. He overheard me tell Nancy that I thought he was having visions but he seemed pretty happy about them. His eyes popped open, he smiled and said peaceful. He has also repeated the word light many times today, which is not a word that he has used since I have been here.
Although much calmer, he was still in pain and he even requested a double dose of pain meds. Working with the hospice nurse, I was able to get his prescription changed to a long acting morphine to help him stay on top of the pain. That, along with a internal catheter, has really helped his pain.
He continues to go up and down, wanting to lay down and then sit on the side of his bed. When he wants to sit up, he wants someone to sit next to him and hold him. If he is lying down, he wants his hand held, his head rubbed or right now I am able to type this because I have my legs propped up on his bed along side of his body. It doesn't appear to be out of fear. I have this image of Chester eating a succulent, juicy, ripe peach and wanting to suck on the peach pit to extract every last bit of juicy flavor before he is ready to let go of that pit and allow it to be a seed for more juicy sweet peaches. It seems more like he just wants to make sure he doesn't miss a minute or a drop of the juicy life that he has led. He wants touch and he wants laugher and sleep just seems to get in the way! We are setting up an air mattress on the floor next to his bed tonight and hoping that will be close enough to allow both of us to get a bit of sleep.
He is definitely seeing things that the rest of us do not. It could be a side effect of the drugs, but I have noticed him looking like he was seeing things that I could not before we upped his meds. Tonight, it really seems that as the veil between life and death has started to part for Chester that he is seeing things that others of us can not. He overheard me tell Nancy that I thought he was having visions but he seemed pretty happy about them. His eyes popped open, he smiled and said peaceful. He has also repeated the word light many times today, which is not a word that he has used since I have been here.
posted by Wine-Beer-Washington at 6:48 PM
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