Visiting Chester
Hello everyone,
Well, as some of you know, I am on a journey moving from California to Cincinnati, Ohio. That move has been calling me for a while, so I know that there is something I must do there. Also, my family is there, and I have been missing them with increased intensity. I think its all about being called back there.
So here I am in Missouri, having arrived yesterday. Chester's state is one that I expected, but it is still difficult seeing him decline. I am not worried about him reading this, because I do not believe that he is capable of logging onto his computer any more.
His communication skills are practically nil. One statement that comes out all the time is "all the way back" with hand movements of moving something back. No matter what he wants, he keeps saying that when he wants something. This morning he wanted me to cover him with his sheet, but he did not take ahold of the sheet to show me what it was that he desired. He just kept saying "all the way back, all the way back" with the hand movements. When I covered him up, he sighed with relief and said 'yes'. And his yes and no's keep getting mixed up. He will say yes for no and visa versa. The other statements that come out is counting. Last night he was trying to tell Nancy and I that he needed a bottle of medication (we had already gotten him into bed), and he just kept saying "one, two." The bottle of medication was standing next to another bottle that had some of the pills cut in half. He does occasionally come out with what he actually wants to say, and he definitely understands everything that is said to him. But the frustration over not being able to communicate is really high at times. I have not seen him lose his temper yet, but it may come.
There are also times when he just does not seem to be present. I'm not sure if its just that he is tuning people out, especially if he is in a group of people (there were four of us with him last night) or if he just has gotten confused over too much input. His brother Dan seems to think that his eyesight seems to go away at times. He does seem to stare into space, or give me an unfocused look at times. But since he can not communicate, its hard to have a discussion with him about what is going on with his sight, his thought process or if he is getting overwhelmed.
Physically he does seem a bit more fragile. He can not seem to be able to put a lot of weight on his right leg. I do know that he has fallen a couple of times while trying to go to the bathroom. He fell once while he was home by himself and trying to go to the bathroom. He kept calling Misty at home instead of on her cell to let them know he needed help, and his emergency button did not seem to work from the bathroom. When they checked whether the button was working later that day, it worked fine. Since that time his family has not left him alone. Incontinence has become a real problem, especially at night. We talked to someone today about an external catheter, which may help on many levels. He would not have to get up at night to use the urinal.
He seems to 'almost' be able to do things that he never even had to think about before. Last night he was trying to get to a certain song on his Ipod, and he kept trying to touch the screen instead of the bottom of the thing. I used my voice to try to help him, since my trying to physically help him did not seem to be what he wanted (independent soul that he is). He finally got it on the song he wanted to listen to. It did point out to me that certain things seem to be slowly deteriorating in his thought processes.
He still laughs a lot with me, even when I have to tell him that it was a really dumb joke I just told. I had him really laughing this morning when his sister Misty called. I told her that Chester had thrown me out of the house out into the snow. Then she asked how I had gotten the phone, and I said that he threw that out too when it started to ring. He thought that was really funny. Then he was like a little kid when they got there, wanting me to be really quiet so we could scare them when they came looking for us.
And we had sushi for lunch. He can no longer eat any of the uncooked fish. The last time it gave him a horrible case of diarrhea and cramping that lasted for two days. But we had a feast this afternoon. In Missouri of all places. There was lots to be enjoyed. Eating is one of his high pleasures, and his brother Dan is an excellent cook. His family is very loving to him, very supportive.
So that is about it for now. His brother Dan, sister in law Nancy, sister Misty and mother are all pretty well exhausted and still keeping on with what has to be done. Just to let you know why there are not too many posts here to the blog. It gets hard to write about what is going on even for me. I will be posting while I am here.
If you have questions, please e-mail me at Owlbreath@sbcglobal.net. I will not necessarily look for responses or questions posted to the blog. Just too busy. Its taken me all day to get this written. Its easier to respond to questions.
I also wanted to mention that there will come a time when they will probably be forced to put Chester in a nursing home. Dan is the only one that can pick him up (like when he falls) and Chester is now about 250 lbs. If he gets to a point where he can not stand on his own, or get himself into his wheelchair, they will be forced to find a place for him that can care for him on a 24 hour basis. Nancy and Dan both get up during the night with him (take turns) but they both have jobs and I can see the exhaustion in them (Nancy got up with him three times the other night and had to clean his sheets twice). Misty and his Mom would not be able to physically care for him if he loses any more mobility. I just wanted to put it out there that its becoming a probability, and not just a possibility. I know that he would not want or like it, but there is the reality of the situation.
Love to all, Marilyn
Well, as some of you know, I am on a journey moving from California to Cincinnati, Ohio. That move has been calling me for a while, so I know that there is something I must do there. Also, my family is there, and I have been missing them with increased intensity. I think its all about being called back there.
So here I am in Missouri, having arrived yesterday. Chester's state is one that I expected, but it is still difficult seeing him decline. I am not worried about him reading this, because I do not believe that he is capable of logging onto his computer any more.
His communication skills are practically nil. One statement that comes out all the time is "all the way back" with hand movements of moving something back. No matter what he wants, he keeps saying that when he wants something. This morning he wanted me to cover him with his sheet, but he did not take ahold of the sheet to show me what it was that he desired. He just kept saying "all the way back, all the way back" with the hand movements. When I covered him up, he sighed with relief and said 'yes'. And his yes and no's keep getting mixed up. He will say yes for no and visa versa. The other statements that come out is counting. Last night he was trying to tell Nancy and I that he needed a bottle of medication (we had already gotten him into bed), and he just kept saying "one, two." The bottle of medication was standing next to another bottle that had some of the pills cut in half. He does occasionally come out with what he actually wants to say, and he definitely understands everything that is said to him. But the frustration over not being able to communicate is really high at times. I have not seen him lose his temper yet, but it may come.
There are also times when he just does not seem to be present. I'm not sure if its just that he is tuning people out, especially if he is in a group of people (there were four of us with him last night) or if he just has gotten confused over too much input. His brother Dan seems to think that his eyesight seems to go away at times. He does seem to stare into space, or give me an unfocused look at times. But since he can not communicate, its hard to have a discussion with him about what is going on with his sight, his thought process or if he is getting overwhelmed.
Physically he does seem a bit more fragile. He can not seem to be able to put a lot of weight on his right leg. I do know that he has fallen a couple of times while trying to go to the bathroom. He fell once while he was home by himself and trying to go to the bathroom. He kept calling Misty at home instead of on her cell to let them know he needed help, and his emergency button did not seem to work from the bathroom. When they checked whether the button was working later that day, it worked fine. Since that time his family has not left him alone. Incontinence has become a real problem, especially at night. We talked to someone today about an external catheter, which may help on many levels. He would not have to get up at night to use the urinal.
He seems to 'almost' be able to do things that he never even had to think about before. Last night he was trying to get to a certain song on his Ipod, and he kept trying to touch the screen instead of the bottom of the thing. I used my voice to try to help him, since my trying to physically help him did not seem to be what he wanted (independent soul that he is). He finally got it on the song he wanted to listen to. It did point out to me that certain things seem to be slowly deteriorating in his thought processes.
He still laughs a lot with me, even when I have to tell him that it was a really dumb joke I just told. I had him really laughing this morning when his sister Misty called. I told her that Chester had thrown me out of the house out into the snow. Then she asked how I had gotten the phone, and I said that he threw that out too when it started to ring. He thought that was really funny. Then he was like a little kid when they got there, wanting me to be really quiet so we could scare them when they came looking for us.
And we had sushi for lunch. He can no longer eat any of the uncooked fish. The last time it gave him a horrible case of diarrhea and cramping that lasted for two days. But we had a feast this afternoon. In Missouri of all places. There was lots to be enjoyed. Eating is one of his high pleasures, and his brother Dan is an excellent cook. His family is very loving to him, very supportive.
So that is about it for now. His brother Dan, sister in law Nancy, sister Misty and mother are all pretty well exhausted and still keeping on with what has to be done. Just to let you know why there are not too many posts here to the blog. It gets hard to write about what is going on even for me. I will be posting while I am here.
If you have questions, please e-mail me at Owlbreath@sbcglobal.net. I will not necessarily look for responses or questions posted to the blog. Just too busy. Its taken me all day to get this written. Its easier to respond to questions.
I also wanted to mention that there will come a time when they will probably be forced to put Chester in a nursing home. Dan is the only one that can pick him up (like when he falls) and Chester is now about 250 lbs. If he gets to a point where he can not stand on his own, or get himself into his wheelchair, they will be forced to find a place for him that can care for him on a 24 hour basis. Nancy and Dan both get up during the night with him (take turns) but they both have jobs and I can see the exhaustion in them (Nancy got up with him three times the other night and had to clean his sheets twice). Misty and his Mom would not be able to physically care for him if he loses any more mobility. I just wanted to put it out there that its becoming a probability, and not just a possibility. I know that he would not want or like it, but there is the reality of the situation.
Love to all, Marilyn
posted by Marilyn at 3:28 PM
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