Love Infusion

Chester was released from the hospital on Thanksgiving day and is back home at the Bakery Loft. This visit to the hospital was particularly challenging and Chester is relieved to be home. We are discovering that even in Berkeley, even within the progressive hospital environment of Alta Bates, there are effects of institutionalization that weigh heavy on the whole Body Mind Heart. Especially for those few patients like Chester who are actively "choosing consciousness", the hospital environment is not always conducive to healing or rest. It is a valuable exercise to begin picturing what a true "healing hospital" might look like.

Yesterday Chester received one more appendage to be ever mindful of- the IV bag of antibiotics. A home nurse (once again a very Berkeley experience, yet another left-handed, Buddhist-practicing, slightly sassy health professional) visited the Loft and taught us how to change the IV bag every 24 hours, changing the tubing and flushing the PICC line with saline, all hooked up to a timed pump that doses the antibiotic in a 12 hour cycle. The tubing and bag was akward at first, but we trust that soon Chester will find an elegant way to integrate it into his movements. The IV line is one more call to vigilance for both Chester and his Allies.

As I was flushing Chester's IV line yesterday, slowly guiding saline into his vein, I breathed with the intimacy of the act, of the peacefulness and gentleness of the moment, of the vulnerability and nakedness of all of us. I thought about medicines ancient and new, about the potions and prayers we use to interface with the mystery of our bodies, about holding one another in reverance and gratitude. As the syringe flushed through the thin plastic tubing and into Chester's vein, I sent a swirl of love with it, exhaling my deepest thanks for this breath, this blood, this life, this teacher.

Just the Details

How to begin sharing days so richly lived? How to speak of the shared breath, the honoring touch, the awareness and presence shared amongst a group of exquisite beings?

What to say about Chester's teaching? His daily climb up a mountain of stairs so that he could sit with a circle of students. His acute presence to his embodiment, each moment demanding vigilance for survival. The Teacher so Full of Teaching, and the Effort to Articulate. The reverant laughter, the sweet sorrow, the ferocity of simplicity, the call to the breath. The Touch that still sings of the Love of the Flesh. The Breath that Opens Us.

More will come. More will come.

But for this moment, a partial update of Chester's physical state of being.

As I write this, Chester is once again with Dr. Tang in surgery, a procedure that was not scheduled until just yesterday. Breathe. During class, he began experiencing a squeaking noise coming from the persistant hole in his head. 95% of his surgical wound has healed up beautifully, and yet the top most area (least blood flow, most scalp tension) still is an open wound. After two additional sets of sutures to attempt to close it, it remained open and vocal! The squeak could be heard across the room, and was not only both disturbing and a alarmingly amusing ("the junkyard terrier swallowed a squeaky toy!") to Chester but also a potential site of infection. So this morning Dr. Tang opened the incision a bit and cleaned the area, examined for any complications, and will sew him back up. Chester has met all of this additional challenge with grace and ease, and we continue to support him in a dynamic dance of finding comfort. I will report more on the outcome of today's procedure after I see Chester tonight.

Tomorrow is Chester's post-treatment MRI. This will be a significant look inside Chester's radiant head. You will be kept up to date on what is seen with that lens as we know. Chester continues to sit with both hopefullness and plenty of room for the unknown.


Meanwhile, rehabilitation continues and an excellent team of women from Rehab without Walls is guiding Chester in an inspiring course of rehab. June, the Occupational Therapist, is (in CM's words) a "miracle worker" and "trusts his right side more than he does". He is starting to gain small amounts of flexion in his right ankle, a great sign of continued muscle and nerve regeneration. Sensitivity and movement continue to flirt back into his right arm, and we are preventing a locked hand posture with constant stretching, massage, and relaxation of his right hand.

Chester has never waivered in knowing how well-held he is by an enormous spiral of friends, family, students, healers, visionaries. We FEEL your love and support, not just "sense it", we FEEL your presence EVERY DAY. Chester and all of his support team have Enormous THANKS for all that you have done, and we have not once felt a lapse in presence from our friends far and near. Do not ever doubt-- all of your breath, prayers, and pleasure that you have offered up has reached us, has come flooding in and is breathed in with gratitude. I will ask Chester if he wants to dictate a personal message to you all here on the blog sometime soon.

More to Come.

"Keep it Easy" ~Chester Mainard

In Realness, In Mystery. In Breath, In Touch

The past two weeks held us in gentle grace as Chester and an open circle of students immersed ourselves in Chester's Deep Tissue Intensive.

Immersion in an embodied learning circle is a powerful experience, and this time Chester invited us to journey deeper yet. This is a timeless space, one of complete focus and presence. I acknowldge that there was not much said on the blog during this time.

I look forward to sharing with you all the experience of Chester's Deep(er) Tissue class. I will begin today, but know that more will come, in the form of blog entries, other writings, audio, and imagery.

I will begin with a few images. More to come.

"Simply make a commitment to the breath. . . " -CM

Images from the Circle

Deep Tissue, Day Two

The Master Teacher

A circle of 14 students, 3 assistants and one Master teacher has gathered for the past three days for Chester's Deep Tissue class. It is with reverence and awe that we find ourselves back in class with Chester only ten weeks into his rehabilitation after surgery. As he says, "changes, changes", and indeed class looks a little bit different this time around. Yet I am struck by how much is the same.

As the circle sinks into the Anal Breath, settling into a relaxed presence, a luxurious spaciousness is achieved. From here, the magic flows freely.

As Chester guides us in approaching the body with "exquisite care and whole hearted love of the flesh", we begin touching one another with beautiful care and kindness. From here, we fully meet one another.

As we allow our whole beings the space and permission to be present, emotions flow freely and there is space to hold both the raucous laughter and the sweet sorrow.

As the Master Teacher returns to the classroom, the profundity of his teachings is crystal clear. To be fully alive and awake, to meet one another as embodied allies, to be breathing consciously, to allow all of our bodily wisdom. The simplicity of the teaching is disarming, and as we sink into the learning together, the sweetness is palpable.

And as we continue through this two-week course, we will be sinking deeper in, holding the mystery and awe in our hands and hearts.